Even when dancing with a partner who possesses abilities comparable to our own, we may still feel anxious. Much of this is has to do with trying to bear complete responsibility for the outcome of the tanda.

Our tango teachers have told us that trying to be 100% responsible for the dance is not the right way to go, yet we do it anyway. Perhaps it's because the demands of our professional and personal lives subconsciously carry over into our tango time. It takes a lot of practice to let go of that mindset, so let's keep working at it.

One thing that helps is putting more trust in our partners. We can't manage their parts for them, and like it or not, they're responsible for elements of the dance that are out of our control. And remember: they're having to trust us to do our parts as well. 

Instead of constantly checking on each other, let's shift focus to building together. Sometimes we won't be sure where the dance is going, sometimes we will. Sometimes we'll be frustrated, other times we'll be delighted. That's just how the dance works. As long as we keep up the energy that gives us something to build off of, our tango will get somewhere.

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